Ruby Slip-ups

Domestik

2008-05-30T16:33:00.004-05:00

So last weekend was a great one. We spent Memorial Day eating free ribs, relaxing in the sun and enjoying the cool breeze. We also got to participate in one of my favorite past-times....FISHIN! Doesn't get anymore kuntry than that. haha! Although we didn't catch a lot, it was great to spend a day outside. The husband and our friend Saul like to call themselves "Camp Staff" when we go fishing. Surprisingly they don't like to participate, just watch and make fun of us. So, if we get a line caught or lose a bobber, they jump in and save the day. hooray! Here is proof that we did some damage...

This is Ferdinand....

Meet Gill....

And this is kuntry....

Don't worry, PETA, we threw them back...after gouging them with lures!

It's Business Time!

2008-05-28T08:44:00.002-05:00

Last night, I dreamed some wild and crazy things. (no surprise!) As is customary in my dream state of mind, I usually encounter things I would never see in real life. I probably will never post some of my more off-the-deep-end ones, but last night's was hilarious. I dreamed that I had these guys over for dinner:::

It's Business Time! Don't know if you've ever encountered Flight of the Conchords, but they are hilarious. Especially in your dreams. Last night, I was at this hotel, eating dinner with George, and they came over and sat at our table to eat dinner with us. What's really sad is how badly I embarrassed myself. I was so taken aback that it was really them, that all I could do was randomly say lines from their comedic songs. So, in place of real, live conversation with them, I would say things like, "You know how I know baby? Cuz it's Wednesday, and Wednesday night is the night that we make love!" Ha hahahaha. I could have said something like, "Hello, nice to meet you." But instead lines like that came out. Only me, only my dreams. They did stick around, though, and actually hung out with us, which was great.

I highly recommend that you watch more of their videos. You will never be the same. Ever. Nor will your dreams.

Sweet smell of, eh, victory.

2008-04-30T14:55:00.001-05:00

Have you ever caught a whiff of a really tasty restaurant’s food as you’re driving by? The smell is so fragrant and tantalizing, that it continues to permeate your nostrils for the next ten minutes. Imagine now, how incredibly hungry you are and that this restaurant would be the perfect fix to your current ailment. You visualize your plate. It contains only the tastiest of tastiness. Your mouth waters as you see the homemade rolls with cinnamon honey butter, a loaded baked potato, a SECOND helping of buttered rolls, maybe a salad, a good steak and some green beans. And, if you’re lucky, you can partake in the delightfulness that is a brownie sundae for dessert. Nothing but the best. Then, as you are just about to act on that impulse, to whiz your little car into the parking lot, march right in, shove someone out of the way and take their table, you remember……

You’re trying to eat healthy.

CURSE YOU TEXAS ROADHOUSE!?%#$*@!!!

This has been my plight for the last four months. You see, in January I made a New Year’s resolution (Gag!) to have a healthier lifestyle. I have succeeded for the most part by joining a Pilates class, going to the gym at least 3 times a week, eating way more salad, and way LESS homemade dinner rolls with cinnamon honey butter. BUT when I made this blasted resolution, I did not see a major ‘road’block on my way to the gym. That ‘road’block will forever be known as Texas Roadhouse. The gym I go to is only a 30 second car ride from my house, which is great! But what is NOT great is that the tastiness that is Texas Roadhouse stands in between my house and my gym. It is incredibly hard to leave the gym exhausted and hungry and not go and gorge oneself on the dishes mentioned above. Must you torture me like this, ‘road’block?! If only it were as easy as driving by with the windows up. I just can’t do that. I always drive by, windows down, getting high on the aroma of all things that are good. All the while imagining that I am seated at a table, and eating this delicious dinner Peter Pan style. It tastes so good, too.

I must act on this craving soon, I think it’s getting to my head.

Losing my grip

2008-04-28T17:03:00.004-05:00

In light of recent events in my life, I’ve decided that I need documentation.

Documentation.

Yes. I said it. Certain things happen to me that, later on in my life, I would like to reference those points and say to myself, “You have come so far!”

Such as: Every morning I have a routine. I wake up, put the dog out, grab half a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds, a glass of CranApple juice and plop myself on the couch to spend the next 20 minutes waking up enough to get ready for the day. Well, one day this week, my routine did not go according to plan. You see, my routine also involves covering up with a warm blanket as I am sitting down. And since I only have two hands, it usually takes some maneuvering to keep a good grip on my juice and cereal, because Lord knows I’m not putting those down! Well, as I was strategically holding on to ‘the goods’ for dear life, trying to get in the best position possible, I managed to dump my ice cold glass of juice down my head, all over my body and onto my white carpet. Only I, Queen of Slip-Ups, could manage to pour a glass of juice over my head without realizing it was about to happen to….myself! So, instead of spending my usual leisurely 20 minutes oohing and aaahing over the news, I had to spend it frantically stripping in the middle of my kitchen and scrubbing my carpet till my fingers bled. Then I had to put my sticky, Cran drenched body BACK in the shower to REWASH what I had already washed.

You see, this is why I need you, Internet. To keep me humble. To help me move past these moments of stupidity and lack of grace.

Yup. Documentation.